Image by Musi_Zhang via Flickr「结果，当今的年轻人更容易产生自恋行为、依恋障碍，以及难以应对生活挑战。」
00:00 - 引言：家庭的重要性 Introduction: The Importance of Family
00:39 - 价值观转变及其影响 Shifting Values and Their Consequences
01:52 - 个人主义、消费主义与育儿方式的变化 Individualism, Consumerism, and Parenting Changes
03:18 - 心理健康危机与自我导向意识的崛起 Mental Health Crisis and the Rise of Self-Orientation
05:12 - 安全依恋在儿童成长中的作用 The Role of Secure Attachment in Child Development
07:28 - 育儿方式的代际影响 Generational Impact of Parenting Styles
10:12 - 打破恶性循环：恢复家庭观念与责任意识 Breaking the Cycle: Restoring Family and Responsibility
13:05 - 政策和文化变革如何支持家庭 Policy and Cultural Shifts to Support Families
15:14 - 给予与联结的力量 The Power of Giving and Connection
17:38 - 充满希望的未来：重新找回牺牲精神与关爱 A Hopeful Future: Reclaiming Sacrifice and Care
The Consequences of a Narcissistic Society: How Individualism and Consumerism Fuel the Mental Health Crisis
Modern Youth Struggle with Narcissism, Attachment Issues, and Coping with Life's Challenges
(This article is a translation of a video transcript.)
Family and interpersonal relationships are the foundation of a healthy society. However, over the past few decades, individualism and self-centered values have gradually weakened the importance of family, leading to many negative consequences, particularly in children’s mental health. This shift in values has placed personal ambition and material success above meaningful relationships, causing the younger generation to lack emotional well-being, commitment, and a sense of self-sacrifice.
The Shift in Family Values
Seventy years ago, society placed greater emphasis on relationships, empathy, and family life. However, the cultural and political movements of the 1960s, while bringing about many positive changes, also had unintended consequences.
For example, the women's rights movement created more opportunities for women in the workforce, which was undeniably a significant advancement. However, it also led to the rise of dual-income households, where many parents delegated child-rearing responsibilities to daycare centers rather than caring for their children personally. Over time, the role of mothers as primary caregivers was devalued, and the mistaken belief that "children can grow up independently without much parental attention" began to spread.
Similarly, the rise of individualism encouraged people to seek personal fulfillment and independence. While self-actualization has its benefits, it also eroded traditional family structures. Freedom and personal happiness increasingly took precedence over responsibilities to family and community.
Additionally, since the 1950s, the rise of television, advertising, and consumerism has promoted the false idea that happiness comes from material wealth rather than deep relationships. As a result, people prioritize career success and financial independence over caring for and spending time with loved ones.
Impact on Mental Health
The long-term effects of these social changes are evident in today’s growing mental health crisis. Many young people experience depression, anxiety, and a lack of purpose. They no longer see family and relationships as sources of love and support, but rather as burdens. Many are hesitant about marriage and parenthood, fearing that these commitments will restrict their freedom and success.
Even those who choose to have children often prefer to outsource parenting responsibilities rather than raising their children themselves. They view child-rearing as stressful and frustrating, which further weakens the next generation’s ability to handle stress and build emotional resilience.
Unfortunately, these value shifts are being passed down across generations, continuously shaping society. Many parents prioritize their own desires over their children's emotional needs, unintentionally fostering selfish attitudes and emotional fragility in their children.
As a result, today’s youth are more prone to narcissistic behavior, attachment disorders, and difficulties in coping with life’s challenges.
How to Address This Crisis
Despite the concerning reality, there is hope. We can reverse these negative trends by changing parenting approaches, rebuilding family values, and fostering a healthier society. Below are some key steps:
Prioritizing family over work – Parents should spend more time with their children, rather than focusing solely on careers and personal goals. Children need uninterrupted love and emotional support to develop healthily.
Leading by example in empathy and responsibility – Parents should demonstrate how to care for others through their actions, teaching children the importance of compassion and selflessness.
Redefining success – We should teach children that true success is not only about career achievements and financial wealth but also about meaningful relationships and community involvement.
Reducing the influence of social media – Since social media often promotes superficial values, children should be encouraged to build authentic relationships. Schools and parents should work together to teach the importance of morality and volunteerism.
Supporting family-friendly policies – Governments should provide better parental leave policies and encourage families to care for their own children rather than relying on institutional childcare.
Strengthening intergenerational family relationships – Families should take responsibility for caring for elderly relatives rather than relying entirely on institutions. This helps children learn to care for others and develop a sense of self-sacrifice.
The Power of Giving and Connection
Research shows that acts of giving—whether through time, volunteer work, or donations—significantly improve mental health and happiness. When parents model generosity and compassion, children can experience the true fulfillment that comes from these values. Even simple acts of kindness, such as donating to those in need or participating in community service, can have a profound impact on a child’s development.
The future of our society depends on whether we prioritize family and relationships over self-interest and material pursuits. If we continue on the current path, mental health issues and family breakdowns will only worsen.
However, if we actively choose to rebuild strong family bonds, teach children the value of self-sacrifice, and foster genuine human connections, we can create a healthier and more loving society.
Conclusion
Family and interpersonal relationships are the cornerstone of a thriving society. However, modern culture has increasingly placed individualism and material success above these values, leading to worsening mental health issues, the breakdown of family structures, and a reluctance to take responsibility.
By prioritizing family, leading by example, redefining success, and supporting family-friendly policies, we can reverse this trend.
The key to building a healthier and more compassionate society lies in fostering deep emotional connections and teaching future generations the value of love and sacrifice.
一名临床社会工作者、作家、精神分析师、心理咨询顾问，并且是一位拥有 30 余年私人执业经验的育儿指导专家，常驻纽约市 Erica Komisar is a clinical social worker, author, psychoanalyst, psychological consultant, and parent guidance expert, who has been in private practice in New York City for over 30 years.
In this speech, Erica Komisar explores how shifting values around family, individualism, and consumer culture have impacted parenting, making parents more self-centered. Unwilling to make the necessary sacrifices to provide their children with the care and attention they need, these parents end up raising children prone to narcissistic disorders, perpetuating a vicious cycle.
Erica believes that the solution lies in reasserting the value of parenting and personal sacrifice, offering practical advice on how we can begin to reverse the effects of this trend.
在本次演讲中，埃丽卡·科米萨尔探讨了家庭观念、个人主义及消费文化价值观的转变如何影响了育儿方式，使得父母变得更加以自我为中心。由于不愿意为孩子的成长做出必要的牺牲，这些父母无法给予孩子足够的关爱和关注，导致他们的子女更容易患上自恋型人格障碍，从而形成恶性循环。
埃丽卡认为，解决方案在于重新强调育儿和个人牺牲的价值，并在演讲中提供了实用建议，帮助我们扭转这一趋势的负面影响。
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